


Dumpscript on Crack

by LittleViV



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: Bad Jokes, Cloud Strife Is So Done, Cloud Strife Needs a Hug, Crack, Discussion, I'm sorry for this, bad words, cid is a jackass, what's his name ?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:33:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29657610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleViV/pseuds/LittleViV
Summary: I'll just post here all of my crack script that I think about. This is FF7 crack for now, but some other things from other fandom and other ideas may pop up as I go.
Kudos: 1





	Dumpscript on Crack

**Author's Note:**

> \- This is a crack I've written after posting the second chapter of my FF7 fic "Catharsis", where Cloud's group get's a newcomer in the form of a silver hair kid. He doesn't have a name, so they've been discussing about and this idea came up. 
> 
> \- Catharsis : https://archiveofourown.org/works/29465997
> 
> \- This is inspired by a french movie called : "Le prenom" or "What's in the name" which is a comedy around what a couple chose for their first born child. It's pretty fun to watch and was adapted from a play. If you can check it, it's pretty cool. ^^  
> I've just made the same weird joke here.

Cloud is in the main room of the bar with cid. Barret and tifa took the kids back into their room so they could sleep. Vincent told cid and Barret that he would wait for them in the highwind and left the bar. Cloud is cleaning the table and Cid is lighting a cigarette fidgeting. He eyes Cloud and sees his tensed expression. He looks where Barret and Tifa are helping the kid go to sleep and a smirk forms on his lips. He slowly creeps close to Cloud and tells him.

Cid : “Hey ! kiddo… While you were busy with Tifa back there, barret, Vinc and I were discussing about the kid’s name and all.”

Cloud snorts at his phrasing and tilts when he’s talking about the name. He stops his cleaning and cross his arm to face Cid waiting.

 **Cid grabs his chin and straightens to look at cloud thinner figure** : “We’ve been thinking ‘bout it real hard and we thought that you might love that idea. It’s super chic and super subtle for a name.” **He emphasizes his telling with big movement of his hands.** “Since the kid’s got silver hair and green eyes, what about calling him Sefirosu ?”

 **Cloud blinks** : “…”

 **Cid** : “You like it kiddo ?”

 **Cloud realizes he was holding his breath** : “What ?”

 **Cid** : “You know ? The kid ! The one that popped at your front door ? the one – “

 **Cloud** : “Yeah ! Yeah ! I know that ! But I didn’t get how you want to call him ???”

 **Cid Smiles** : “Sefirosu !”

 **Cloud just jerks, running a hand through his face** : “You can’t be serious… I won’t call the kid Sephiroth !”

 **Cid tuts cloud shaking his head** : “Naah ! Not Sephiroth. Sefirosu !”

 **Cloud grimaces** : “I don’t get it, what’s the difference ?”

 **Cid** : “Well, Sephiroth is written with a “ph” and “th”, while Sefirosu is written with an “f” and “su”. You can’t mixed them both, come on…”

At this point, Cloud put his head into his hands, feeling the headache coming forth.

 **Cid** : “…And on top of that it has a Wutaian sound to it. Isn’t that damn great ! That would certainly add some exotism to it.”

 **Cloud’s eyes were about to pop in disbelief at the man. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to cry or to laugh at this point** : “You can’t be serious ! Did Barret really agreed to that ? I can’t believe Barret agreed to that, he can be dense but he’s not that dumb !”

Cid holds his smirks and rub his face with his hand not believing Cloud : “You can be so tight at time !”

At this point Cloud’s neck muscle are so tense Cid thinks it might break. He’s holding his hands up in a grip in front of The older blond man, he thinks he might struggle him. His eye twitch and he lets out.

 **Cloud** : “We won’t call him Sephiroth or sefirosu or anything like that !!”

 **Cid’s laugh just disarm him** : “Heck ! Alright kiddo. I was just messing with you.”

Cloud is red in anger and end up trying to punch him in the gut, before storming outside of the bar to cool himself down.

 **Cloud** : “Shit ! If the kid doesn’t kill me before, you all might do it !”

Cid is still laughing holding on the bar counter as Tifa is coming back here looking around.

 **Tifa** : “huh ? Where is Cloud ?”

 **Cid** : “Out.” He looks at her before a new grin spread across his face “Huh ! Tifa ! Cloud and I were discussing about the kid’s name.”

 **Tifa** : “Huh ?”

He tells his idea and Tifa’s eye widen as they hear Cloud’s scream coming from outside.

 **Cloud** : “For Gaia’s sake, Cid ! You better start running now, because if I get my hands on you, I promise even what I did to Sephiroth will be child’s play compared to that !!”


End file.
